Jan 02, 2018 by - John Moscillo

Adjusting Your Mindset in the Age of Social Media

We are barraged from every angle of social media, and every angle plays to our subconscious. That little thing we can’t really control which controls us can, in fact, be controlled by what we feed it. When you feed it garbage, it gives you a negative world. When you feed it positive, it gives you a positive world. 

One place you really need to be careful and protect yourself from is the discouragement that can set in when you see an agent posting how great they are doing while you are trying to get going. Believe it or not, that will impact you. Seeing listing after listing come when you are struggling to get even one. 

What you have to do is remove that from your life. One thing that I learned through my 16-year journey—part of which was one of self-discovery when I left a toxic relationship and walked away from everything only to start all over in my forties—is that everything in life is a permission set. 

You can control how you feel

You allow other people or situations to make you feel bad or influence you. However they make you feel, you need to know that you are 100 percent in control of it. When you learn this, then you can stop giving permission to people who make you feel bad. Seller, Buyers, Co-Workers, Loved Ones. If they are making you feel bad, then take that permission away. I find that being super kind in return helps. They can keep coming at me with negativity but since there is no permission there to make me feel bad, I keep giving them love back since it seems they need it. 

When you see people posting about how good they are doing, if that makes you feel bad, post something positive. I try to post some level of positivity or a fun message every day. I started to do this when I went through my break up and I continue to do it. It makes me feel good, makes me think about a positive message first thing in the morning. In return, I get personal messages or comments that people loved or needed the message. That in itself is so humbling. 

See, I look at things like this. For everything negative there is something equally as positive. It is the law of the universe. So this means that if I am stuck in a negative situation—a rabbit hole—or if I am stuck in fear, I remember that I am allowing myself to be in that position. I accept those things that I can’t change or have control over, laugh about it and return only from a positive place. 

Balance your mindset for work, but also for yourself

By focusing on things this way, I change my entire energy. This even comes true to life. For instance, if you are driving down the road and someone cuts you off. Sure, you are upset, but what does that do about anything? Laugh about it, smile and say, “Thank you, Jerk Face, have a wonderful day!” Then be thankful nothing happened, breathe and laugh once again. 

Sometimes it happens three or four times in just a few minutes. I will stop the car somewhere I did not expect, I will get out and go into the nearest store. Maybe I buy something. Maybe I don’t. But I will get out and say, “I am changing my energy field now. You do not have permission to do this to me.” Yes, I speak at the universe as if it can hear me. But it is a mental energy shift. I get back to the car. Before I open the door, I laugh and say, “Let’s not have a repeat.” Breathe and laugh. 

I know the feeling all too well of seeing other people succeed and me question why I am not. The self-doubt that comes along with that is real. Building a national training and software company does not just happen overnight. To open yourself to public criticism is a super hard fear to overcome. Imagine anyone from around the country being able to post a bad review about you on Facebook, Google or Amazon. Yeah, that is hard to open up to. 

If you see a successful agent posting and it beats you up inside, understand a couple of things.  

  1. It is marketing. 
  2. It is a system. 
  3. They can be full of crap. 

So develop a marketing plan that works for you. They are not really playing their story to you. They are playing it to the public. I have spent a lot of time with business mentors, investors and other entrepreneurs. One thing that I hear often is that “It is ALL about the story.” What story are you painting? You have a blank canvas and you are a master like Monet. What will you do? 

At the end of the day, we are all telling a story online. There is a reason we post what we do every day, what we ate, where we went, the dog, etc. It is a way to connect. It is also an alternate reality of sorts, or maybe some folks just have online narcissistic disorder where they think I need to know they went to the gym. But it is their story, so tell your story. Don’t be intimidated to BE YOU. 


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