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— by David Serpa

5 Tips for Establishing Boundaries as an Empath in Real Estate

“What did he just say?” “Every time I think that Serpa guy can’t jump any further off the deep end… he goes deeper.”

Well stinker butts, get into your submarines and strap on your fancy yellow outfits–it’s time to go deeper! A lot of amazingly fantastic, spectacular splendiferous empathetic human beings gravitate toward Real Estate. Some of them learn to find balance and do well in Real Estate. Others mask it, compensating for everyone’s shortcomings around them, until they “burn out.” Sometimes you find the agent that makes the choice to change everything, digs deep, gives it their all, and they see a brief shining moment of something incredible before they make the choice to give up. There’s nothing simple about the sort of frustration and pain that comes along with watching a Real Estate agent–with a ton of potential–start to shine, only to get pulled back into the same sort of self-destructive “dumping ground” behavior that they came to me with. It’s devastating!

So how can you tell if you are an empath working in Real Estate?

Here are a few examples:

  • You close a deal that no one could have gotten closed but you! You are the reason it got done, you are the one that cared enough to find the program, to find the loan, to find the house, and you made it happen at the last minute by cutting into your commission! You made $500 but you changed someone’s life! Cool! You pass off the keys and get into your car and start bawling by yourself–an overwhelmed ball of emotional raw energy.
  • A client or fellow agent calls you devastated. So you’re devastated. You immediately internalize their problem. You can solve it after all. You know you can. You can heal their wounds. And until then, you won’t sleep. You actually get to a point where you care more than they do!
  • You have a business card that says, “We make dreams come true” or “I sell dreams”–something about “dreams” and “realities” and you mean it. I get it! We do sell dreams, opportunities, steps up, possibilities, pride and stability. It’s an easy thing to get behind! Even total cheapskates believe in homeownership. Now if we could just stop feeling like we are selling anyone anything!

If you think that just sounds like a woman… That’s okay, guy who only cold calls. Not all of us got what you got, and you may not have this. If this sounds like you, I want to help you with your relationships with your clients, other agents in the office or team, and agents on the other side of the transaction by giving you five tips for Establishing Boundaries as an Empath in Real Estate!

Tip 1: Establish Time Boundaries Early

Have you ever gotten up from dinner to show properties? Have you ever taken a work call in the middle of a conversation with your kids? Have you taken a call at 1:38 a.m.? I have done all of these things! I used to tell people “I am available 24/7!” and then I would take calls at weird hours, and one time I even took a call at 1:38 a.m. and popped out of bed like I wasn’t freaking in the middle of REM sleep. The guy was flabbergasted: “I didn’t expect you to pick up.”

Have you worried that maybe you can handle it, but that your family cannot?…






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