Have you reached your potential? I hope not and I hope you’re still striving to hit it.
Throughout my years in real estate as a new agent, top producer, franchise owner, manager, team leader, mentor, and coach; I noticed some patterns on why some people seemed to strive and seem to continue to grow. Why did some people seem to live up to their potential while others got stuck in a rut that would seemingly escort them out of the real estate business? Although everyone felt their situation was unique and different, I kept seeing the same patterns over and over again. It’s the same issue I faced myself in my career. I saw too many intelligent people that couldn’t figure their way out of the maze called themselves and I started on a mission to figure out how I could possibly help others to utilize more of their potential.
Do you feel like you’re not living up to your potential? Are you stuck and can’t figure out why you aren’t seeing the results that you feel like you should be getting? This post is for you.
My mentors taught me success principles but one thing they missed was teaching me how to deal with all the emotional trauma from my past that accumulated. For years, I followed their success principles and I didn’t see results and it wasn’t until later in life I knew why. It was because there were self-healing and growth that I needed to experience before I could get closer to reaching my potential and to find success. It wasn’t until my early 30s when I met some new mentors in my life that taught me I was neglecting some of my basic four areas of health (physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental). These new mentors were from different backgrounds and had different experiences and professions but they all stressed the need to resolve the internal conflict we have inside ourselves. I’ve also heard it call emotional trauma, childhood trauma, skeletons in the closet, anger and resentment. In the beginning of this healing process, I can honestly tell you that I resisted. It was uncomfortable and it felt plain weird. I didn’t want to believe my issues of the past would haunt my present and future but it had and did. And it unknowingly robbed me of getting closer to reaching my potential sooner in life.
Let’s start healing.
Healing from all the emotional trauma of our past is a heavy arduous task. I wish it were as easy as having you snap your fingers but it’s tiring work. The time it takes to heal an emotional wound could be a lot longer than the time it takes to heal a physical wound. I’d like to share how I’ve healed others heal a lifetime of emotional trauma in minutes. If you’re open and honest with yourself during this process, you’ll heal quicker. There are those around us that go through their whole lives without healing these wounds…preventing them from ever living up to their potential.
Exercise 1: Write down all of your negative self-talk.
I can’t do this
I can’t afford this
I don’t have time for this
I’m not good enough
I’m not smart enough
I’ll never succeed
I’ll never be good at social media
How do you feel by just reading those negative thoughts? Yuck right!?
We can’t leave our brain thinking a negative thought about ourselves so the next step is to write down the positive opposite thought.
I can’t do this is rewritten as I can do this or I will do this.
I can’t afford this is rewritten as I can afford this or I afford this.
I don’t have time for this is rewritten as I have time for this or I will make time for this.
I’m not good enough is rewritten as I am good enough.
I’m not smart enough is rewritten as I am smart enough or I am smart.
I’ll never succeed is rewritten as I will succeed.
I’ll never be good at social media is rewritten as I will learn to be good at social media or I am good at social media.
If this thought is something that comes into your head often, you should consider saying it as a daily affirmation out loud.
When I go through this exercise with coaching clients, I make sure they understand that if they don’t address the negative thoughts that pass through their head, they’re left unresolved. It doesn’t matter how small or innocent the negative self-talk may seem; if you don’t resolve it, it’s still there.
Exercise 2: Forgive those who have wronged you.
Forgiving those who have done you dirty isn’t an easy task, but how much longer are you going to let them rent space in your head without paying rent? It means you no longer want revenge. It means you no longer have any more ill will against them. Make a list of everyone that wronged you right now and forgive them for your own peace of mind. Let’s do this now. Write down their name and then say, [name], I forgive you. And keep doing this for every person on this list.
Exercise 3: Ask for forgiveness from those who you’ve wronged.
This is probably one of the most uncomfortable things to do. I remember being asked to do this by one of my new mentors. My task was to call everyone I’ve ‘wronged’, apologize and ask for forgiveness. They didn’t need to forgive me for me to complete this task and not everyone I called forgave me but that wasn’t what my mentor asked me to do. All I could do was acknowledge I was wrong and ask the other person sincerely to forgive me. Now, let’s make this list of people you’ve wronged and reach out to them to ask for their forgiveness. Call them, text them, write them a letter, or email them. Whatever method you can, you find them. If you lost touch and you don’t know how to find them, your effort for getting the message to them matters.
Note: all of these exercises can be done at the same time. There is no need to wait until you no longer have any negative thoughts before moving onto the next exercise. Do them all simultaneously.
If you’re finding yourself spinning your wheels, not growing as quickly as you’d like or not reaching your potential; look within and do these exercises. Whenever an agent I’m coaching is doing all the right things but not getting the results they should be getting, I look at possible unresolved internal conflict. If you found your way to this article and it’s helped you, please share your story in the Lab Coat Agents Facebook Group and invite your friends to join our community.
Wishing you an infinite abundance of success.